“I have been unemployed for over a year now. I have sent out so many resumes that I don't even remember how many I have sent out. I use monster.com, snagajob.com, yahoojobs.com, and so on and so on. I wake up every day and go through my list of websites and just e-mail away. Since being unemployed, I have felt less human. I don't feel like I should enjoy the greater things in life cause of the fact that I am nothing at this moment in time. Being unemployed this long, makes you wake up in fear knowing that when you open your eyes, the phone can ring and the power will be turned off. They will come and take away what’s left of your life.” (Male 35 – 40)
This is real... The fear of being unemployed and the consequences...
How to overcome this fear...
Unemployment carries a lot of emotional baggage for most of us, and fear is a major component.
We fear the financial fallout of no longer receiving regular wages.
We fear the impact of our lack of productivity on relationships (marriage, family, friends and our social and community activities).
We fear losing the respect of the ones we love.
We fear approaching acquaintances for help.
We fear humiliation of the job hunt.
We fear rejection... we fear the concept we hold within; that we are just not good enough.
The fear seeps into your bones and leaves you awake and restless in the middle of the night.
It flashes behind your eyes to telegraph your desperation in interviews. It weighs heavily on your shoulders as you walk into yet another agency and answer the same questions over and over again and over again. It drains your energy, and extinguishes your enthusiasm for life.
Fear becomes a constant unwanted companion.
If not quickly contained... it wrests control of your life.
YES, you have no job, no income, no prospects, and no real hope... but you still have the most powerful tool ever developed... THE HUMAN MIND !
Take on a new companion... YOUR MIND.
Start thinking POSITIVELY. Easier said than done... I know, but try these strategies:
EARLY FINACIAL PLANNING:
After the initial shock of losing your job ebbs a little, your natural motivation and competitive drive kick in and you feel optimistic that something will open up in a very short time. You may have been out of the labour market for a long time, and haven’t realized that hiring protocols have changed over the past few years. (For the past four years, the average time out of work has drastically increased - it now typically takes six to twelve months to find a new position). That is a long time to go without a regular income.
Therefore, as soon as you can... sit down with your partner and your records and see what you can do to immediately cut expenses to the bone. Contact your creditors and see if you can defer payments by paying interest for a while. Restructure your social life and choice of entertainment. It won’t entirely remove the nagging fear-of-losing-everything that will follow you like a dog, but until you are again gainfully employed, having some sense of control over it will lower the stress.
FEAR SHARING:
Confess your fears to your partner, your family members, your friends, even your pastor (if it makes you feel comfortable enough to share your personal thoughts). If you have a supportive partner and family, reveal your worry that your present circumstances will impact your relationship with each other and jointly plan how that can be avoided. Talking about the problem makes it a team problem. You are therefore not alone in this... you have support.
ASKING & RECEIVING:
Asking for, and receiving support from those around you doesn’t have to mean exploitation.
People who know and care about you are happy to help when they can. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for their assistance and do it clearly and directly. No “hint dropping”. Call in the help of all the friends and connections you know, promising to return the favour when your position has improved, and please... stick to your promise!
IT IS NOT A PERSONAL REJECTION:
Looking for work feels humiliating because you sense an inner air of superiority in the contacts you make. People who have a job possess a sense of identity and security that as an unemployed applicant you temporarily lack. Ask yourself how much of the attitude is coming from the other person and how much is your own projection.
Your misery and pain leads to the feeling that it is YOU, ALONE, AGAINST THE WORLD. Every face in the crowd is threatening and alien. Just for a moment... step out of this self-centric view... and change your self-judgement. Look objectively at yourself and your situation... from a distance.
Do you despise other jobless people? No you don’t !
Why do you think that others look at you in that manner.
It’s instinctive... people care about each other. Please keep this in mind.
The key to an open, positive outlook is to realize that our humanity is always there, we’re just not paying attention to it. If you can expand that vision of a caring, supportive humanity to those who seem to view you with indifference, your world completely changes. Instead of a drab, lonely desert, you see the waves of surrounding support, all caring about you, wanting the best for you rooting for you: a great, positive team in your corner.
You will still experience rejection, but your NEW OUTLOOK can put that into perspective.
MIND OVER MATTER...
Luckily there are very few times in your life when you feel you’re being judged by your peers.
Unfortunately, looking for a job is one of those times. Every resume submission, every job application makes you feel that you’re personal worth is being assessed. That feeling intensifies in an interview where you sit face to face with your JUDGES. You feel vulnerable when your interviewers scrutinize your skills and experiences.
Everyone of us needs to be seen as worthwhile and wanted, that what we have to offer is valuable.
Everyone experience rejection at some point during their lives. Failure is part of our lives. There has to be a winner... it might not always be you. Accept that fact.
The destructiveness of a job search is that rejection can take on a recurrent pattern.
Try not to take it personally. It’s been said: One failure to make the cut is manageable; ten failures, one after the other, start to impact our ability to cope; a hundred failures overwhelm us.
Don’t let it happen to you... mind over matter !
You start to identify yourself as a loser. You mentally twist your failures into a pattern and start to believe that you’re the problem... you just can’t make the grade. You fail to look at the situation objectively: Each job application, like a dive roll or the pull of a slot machine handle, is a totally independent event with odds that don’t change with multiple repetitions.
The fact that you were not offered one particular position says nothing except another applicant was a better fit.
It is not a judgement about YOU.
For one of a thousand reasons, the chemistry wasn’t right.
Watch how your MIND doesn’t really accept this fact, as it sinks into self-blame and self-doubt, repeating all the negative tapes you have ever developed, seeking to make you see yourself as a perennial loser. You are NOT A LOSER.
STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY !
Use that same powerful MIND to consciously focus on your positive attributes. Think, or better yet write down, all your successes, great or small. Mentally explore your life. Look for all the times you were a winner - everything from a good grade, the scoring of a goal to the successful raising of a child. Re-assuring yourself of your value, frequently and at length, will help turn your mind into a source of support rather than an internal enemy who repeatedly cuts you down.
Rejection is difficult and painful, but it can be made more fleeting when we refuse to allow any rejection to define ourselves as reject-material.
Do not allow rejection to get a hold of your MIND.
New engineering jobs posted to our website on a regular basis...
ENGINEER NETWORK GROUP - Search by country.
How to overcome this fear...
Unemployment carries a lot of emotional baggage for most of us, and fear is a major component.
We fear the financial fallout of no longer receiving regular wages.
We fear the impact of our lack of productivity on relationships (marriage, family, friends and our social and community activities).
We fear losing the respect of the ones we love.
We fear approaching acquaintances for help.
We fear humiliation of the job hunt.
We fear rejection... we fear the concept we hold within; that we are just not good enough.
The fear seeps into your bones and leaves you awake and restless in the middle of the night.
It flashes behind your eyes to telegraph your desperation in interviews. It weighs heavily on your shoulders as you walk into yet another agency and answer the same questions over and over again and over again. It drains your energy, and extinguishes your enthusiasm for life.
Fear becomes a constant unwanted companion.
If not quickly contained... it wrests control of your life.
YES, you have no job, no income, no prospects, and no real hope... but you still have the most powerful tool ever developed... THE HUMAN MIND !
Take on a new companion... YOUR MIND.
Start thinking POSITIVELY. Easier said than done... I know, but try these strategies:
EARLY FINACIAL PLANNING:
After the initial shock of losing your job ebbs a little, your natural motivation and competitive drive kick in and you feel optimistic that something will open up in a very short time. You may have been out of the labour market for a long time, and haven’t realized that hiring protocols have changed over the past few years. (For the past four years, the average time out of work has drastically increased - it now typically takes six to twelve months to find a new position). That is a long time to go without a regular income.
Therefore, as soon as you can... sit down with your partner and your records and see what you can do to immediately cut expenses to the bone. Contact your creditors and see if you can defer payments by paying interest for a while. Restructure your social life and choice of entertainment. It won’t entirely remove the nagging fear-of-losing-everything that will follow you like a dog, but until you are again gainfully employed, having some sense of control over it will lower the stress.
FEAR SHARING:
Confess your fears to your partner, your family members, your friends, even your pastor (if it makes you feel comfortable enough to share your personal thoughts). If you have a supportive partner and family, reveal your worry that your present circumstances will impact your relationship with each other and jointly plan how that can be avoided. Talking about the problem makes it a team problem. You are therefore not alone in this... you have support.
ASKING & RECEIVING:
Asking for, and receiving support from those around you doesn’t have to mean exploitation.
People who know and care about you are happy to help when they can. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for their assistance and do it clearly and directly. No “hint dropping”. Call in the help of all the friends and connections you know, promising to return the favour when your position has improved, and please... stick to your promise!
IT IS NOT A PERSONAL REJECTION:
Looking for work feels humiliating because you sense an inner air of superiority in the contacts you make. People who have a job possess a sense of identity and security that as an unemployed applicant you temporarily lack. Ask yourself how much of the attitude is coming from the other person and how much is your own projection.
Your misery and pain leads to the feeling that it is YOU, ALONE, AGAINST THE WORLD. Every face in the crowd is threatening and alien. Just for a moment... step out of this self-centric view... and change your self-judgement. Look objectively at yourself and your situation... from a distance.
Do you despise other jobless people? No you don’t !
Why do you think that others look at you in that manner.
It’s instinctive... people care about each other. Please keep this in mind.
The key to an open, positive outlook is to realize that our humanity is always there, we’re just not paying attention to it. If you can expand that vision of a caring, supportive humanity to those who seem to view you with indifference, your world completely changes. Instead of a drab, lonely desert, you see the waves of surrounding support, all caring about you, wanting the best for you rooting for you: a great, positive team in your corner.
You will still experience rejection, but your NEW OUTLOOK can put that into perspective.
MIND OVER MATTER...
Luckily there are very few times in your life when you feel you’re being judged by your peers.
Unfortunately, looking for a job is one of those times. Every resume submission, every job application makes you feel that you’re personal worth is being assessed. That feeling intensifies in an interview where you sit face to face with your JUDGES. You feel vulnerable when your interviewers scrutinize your skills and experiences.
Everyone of us needs to be seen as worthwhile and wanted, that what we have to offer is valuable.
Everyone experience rejection at some point during their lives. Failure is part of our lives. There has to be a winner... it might not always be you. Accept that fact.
The destructiveness of a job search is that rejection can take on a recurrent pattern.
Try not to take it personally. It’s been said: One failure to make the cut is manageable; ten failures, one after the other, start to impact our ability to cope; a hundred failures overwhelm us.
Don’t let it happen to you... mind over matter !
You start to identify yourself as a loser. You mentally twist your failures into a pattern and start to believe that you’re the problem... you just can’t make the grade. You fail to look at the situation objectively: Each job application, like a dive roll or the pull of a slot machine handle, is a totally independent event with odds that don’t change with multiple repetitions.
The fact that you were not offered one particular position says nothing except another applicant was a better fit.
It is not a judgement about YOU.
For one of a thousand reasons, the chemistry wasn’t right.
Watch how your MIND doesn’t really accept this fact, as it sinks into self-blame and self-doubt, repeating all the negative tapes you have ever developed, seeking to make you see yourself as a perennial loser. You are NOT A LOSER.
STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY !
Use that same powerful MIND to consciously focus on your positive attributes. Think, or better yet write down, all your successes, great or small. Mentally explore your life. Look for all the times you were a winner - everything from a good grade, the scoring of a goal to the successful raising of a child. Re-assuring yourself of your value, frequently and at length, will help turn your mind into a source of support rather than an internal enemy who repeatedly cuts you down.
Rejection is difficult and painful, but it can be made more fleeting when we refuse to allow any rejection to define ourselves as reject-material.
Do not allow rejection to get a hold of your MIND.
New engineering jobs posted to our website on a regular basis...
ENGINEER NETWORK GROUP - Search by country.
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